“Bird Mask Convention!… ATTENTION!… Can have your ATTENTION?.. Everyone.. PLEASE!..
Thank you… Please be seated or grab a perch or whatever it takes to be comfortable.
I want to welcome you to the first annual gathering of the bird mask wearers of America…
Ahhhh… Can I get you guys at the food table to not be perching on the ice statues??? … PLEASE???
Can we get housekeeping to come in and clean up those statues?
Anyway.. I must admit that I am simply amazed that, it seems everyone thinks that bird mask wearers mean Pigeon mask wearers. We all know that in the hierarchy of the aviary world, pigeons are quite low, whereas other birds, I.E. Chickens, are at the zenith of feathered species.
Housekeeping… glad you showed. Can we get another layer of newspapers under the table here by the door where they are sitting on the back of chairs? Thank you.
To continue, while we may question your choices on what you represent, we still welcome you, welcome everyone!
SECURITY… SECURITY.. We have someone trying to lay an egg over there, under the effigy of Col. Sanders. I hope it’s an egg!”
In a unexpected mysterious event, President Joe Biden’s Colonoscopy video was leaked today.
Rumor has it that it this my have come from the Vice President’s office in retaliation to the negative press leaked to CNN regarding the feud between the two office holders may be having.
While recording the video procedure is nothing new, it is still a question of how it fell into someone’s hands outside of the President’s staff.
A publicity photo was also released at the same time of Doctor DeBakie Chicken , who is seen here posing before the procedure is started.
Here at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd we do not shy away from showing this news video. Other news and opinion sites my hide this but we won’t do that.
This video even recorded the operating room music Dr. DeBakie Chicken prefers to listen to during procedures. This surprising video goes to ‘great depths’ looking for problems. See if you can see that last ice cream cone he had before the ‘clean out’.
♫ Hare Krishna
♫ Hare Krishna
♫ Krishna, Krishna
♫ Hare Hare…
‘Ching’ sounded the finger cymbals at the end of the chant. Mahavishnu Chicken closed his eyes, breathed in the incense smoke of sandalwood and chanted “Gunga galunga… Gunga, gunga-galunga”.
‘Ching-Ching” again chimed the cymbals.
Mahavishnu Chicken continued to chant with expectations of connecting to his higher power chicken, महान चिकन (actual translation to English – the Great Chicken).
He has been repeating this process daily, always with the same results… nothing.
But today, Mahavishnu Chicken suddenly and actually unexpectedly made spiritual contact. He was startled but kept is eyes shut tight. He used his spiritual ‘third eye’ to witness the event.
“Oh Great Chicken’, he muttered, “Tell me your plans for my destiny. How may I serve you?”
The Great Chicken simply starred at him, floating in the the spaces in the clouds.
“Great one, can you hear me?” … ...
Hello everyone. I’m Chainsaw Chicken. Thank you all for tuning in and connecting to this message. It is my hope that the tens of thousands of you that see this message will understand and appreciate this open apology I wish to make.
Everyone here at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, all the IT people, the advertising staff, the development people, the administrative staff, make-up and costume artists, the publicists, the executive staff all the way down to the janitorial people all believe that we are emerging into a new cultural and sociological awakening here as well as through out the country and the world.
The upper management and especially myself have wondered how we might better join in this brave new world of wokeness and awareness to better exemplify, and more importantly apply these concerns to Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd.
We took a long look at past postings and realized a fact we had not been aware of. This fact was...