“Bird Mask Convention!… ATTENTION!… Can have your ATTENTION?.. Everyone.. PLEASE!..
Thank you… Please be seated or grab a perch or whatever it takes to be comfortable.
I want to welcome you to the first annual gathering of the bird mask wearers of America…
Ahhhh… Can I get you guys at the food table to not be perching on the ice statues??? … PLEASE???
Can we get housekeeping to come in and clean up those statues?
Anyway.. I must admit that I am simply amazed that, it seems everyone thinks that bird mask wearers mean Pigeon mask wearers. We all know that in the hierarchy of the aviary world, pigeons are quite low, whereas other birds, I.E. Chickens, are at the zenith of feathered species.
Housekeeping… glad you showed. Can we get another layer of newspapers under the table here by the door where they are sitting on the back of chairs? Thank you.
To continue, while we may question your choices on what you represent, we still welcome you, welcome everyone!
SECURITY… SECURITY.. We have someone trying to lay an egg over there, under the effigy of Col. Sanders. I hope it’s an egg!”
Don’t worry, New Jersey. Chainsaw Chicken is here. I’ll find out what these mysterious drones are up to.
I needed to get to my little secret. When I arrived at the plane hangers of our terminal at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. I went in the back and drug out the last flying example of the famous Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee flying platform.
I ‘found’ it back of the storage hanger in 1964 when Fairchild Aircraft bought out Heller. We purchased this hanger at an auction once the acquisitions was completed. We wanted the hanger in order to store our future projects.
I filled up the reserve with Hydrogen Peroxide that I robbed from Mrs. Chicken’s hair products. The second tank I attached to an old chemical fire extinguisher. Then I lit the match.
I ascended to about 600 feet and started cruising around. I bet it wasn’t 15 mins when I spotted the whole fleet. They were circling the 10th hole at Trump’s Betminster Golf Club.
I leaned my flying platform over and headed for the ...
We had a Christmas party this year at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. Everyone had a great time. We had a White Elephant gift exchange. Every time someone exchanged a gift, we all had to take a drink. Soon, the room reeked of Egg Nog and Spiced Rum mixed with some Mountain Dew.
I have to agree, that I was into my cheer a little too much.
As my Porcelain addiction began to become obvious with my head deep into the bowl, I started thinking of all the names there are for what I was spewing into the toilet.
Sure, there’s vomiting.. and spewing as I said before…
Then there’s barfing, puking, regurgitating… Let me grab another slice of anchovy pizza as I think of more.
Ralphing, upchucking, spit up… damn that pizza goes down easy, I’ll grab another slice.
Mmmmmm… Let’s see, there’s blowing, hurling and heaving, and tossing one’s cookies and expelling.
Oh wow, one slice left… there’s retching and gagging too…
Oh boy, that last piece must of had a bad ...
After almost a year since its launch, I have been asking ChapGPT “Who is Chainsaw Chicken?”
It would answer with garbage about no information is available on anyone with that name, blah, blah, blah.
Suddenly, when I routinely asked it again, I was surprised to see this response.
“Yes, the content on Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken can be described as absurd due to its surreal humor and playful narrative style. The stories often combine unexpected elements and whimsical characters, creating a unique blend of comedy and satire. This approach invites readers to think critically about everyday concepts through a humorous lens.”
I guess I am honored. But ‘absurd’???
