“Good morning… Mr…uhhh… Chicken. What brings you in today?” questioned the ‘on call’ doctor .
“Well Doc,” Chainsaw began to speak as he rested on the paper covered exam table. “It’s like this. For the last several days I have been feeling like my gizzard in out of whack. It’s not working as it should.”
“Gizzard!” exclaimed the doctor. “Your gizzard has been troubling you?”
“Oh yes, Doc!” proclaimed Chainsaw. Think you might have some notion of what might be going on with me?”
The doctor starred at Chainsaw for an extra moment , took a deep breath as if he was tired and needed a boost of energy, then began. “As I see it you have a few other issues going on besides your gizzard.”
He continued. “How long have you been feeling… uhhhh… thinking…. uhhhh… that you are a chicken?
Puzzled, Chainsaw calmly addressed the doctors curious question. “As long as I can remember, Doc. You’ve never treated me. Do you know Dr. DeBakie Chicken? He’s my usual doctor. I’ve been seeing him for years.”
“Oh I’ve seen him in the staff meetings. But I am concerned about you” the doctor continued sincerely.
Chainsaw interjected “I think my gizzard has got the Covid. Can you give me something to cure it?”
The doctor answered abruptly. “You don’t have a gizzard“…
“What? Sure I do” stated Chainsaw.
The doctor continued” Furthermore, I think I will give you a referral to see another doctor friend of mine at the sanitarium, I mean the building across the street.”
“Oh doc, can you just give me some Hydroxy-what cha call it?” asked Chainsaw.
“No” answered the doctor.
“Ivermectin?” Chainsaw muttered?
“No” the doctor stated flatly.
“Remdesivir… Monoclonal Antibody’s?” Chainsaw bounced back words like it was a game of ping-pong.
The doctor turned, picked up a phone, pressed a call button. When someone answered be calmly said “I need you and two other people, yeah the big guys, to come to exam room 3 and help my patient across the street to the ‘clinic’ that might better help him”.
I was just leisurely walking around my neighborhood.
“What a wonderful day,” I said out loud, enjoying the warm spring sunshine as it warmed my beak.
As I passed the house of the neighbor I don’t get along with—the one who lets his many cats roam freely—I glanced at the kids’ sandbox.
To my surprise, the usual “kitty biscuits” (the kind cats leave behind) seemed to be arranged in a message. The closer I got, the clearer it became. What a strangely artistic formation of… ah… cat turds. Then it hit me—I could read what it said! At first, I thought it was just a political statement expressing someone’s opinion… until I saw my logo decal!
I took a picture, intending to post it on social media. But given the recent “stink” over a similar (and equally innocent) incident, I decided to share it only with my loyal followers.
Before leaving, I mixed up the bio-deposits, leaving them in the sand so the kids could play undisturbed.
I wonder… did my neighbor ...
Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd had thrown in a last minute bid to acquire the platform called #TicTok and make it a totally domestic. His entry has thrown the high-tech world into a panic,
#Tim Cook from Apple Inc. “Who is this Chainsaw guy?” Others like #Mark Zuckerberg from Facebook/Meta stated, “I don’t find much about him on Google why not?” Then, the director from #Google, #Sundar Pichai, was informed that Google had been restricting this Chainsaw guy, blocking results, keeping him pushed into the shadows”.
“How much money does this guy have?” questioned another media oligarch, #Jeff Bezos.
An aid answered with “I heard that he owns the patent on many of the items used by companies with products and items people use everyday”.
“Schedule a lunch with this guy” said #Musk. “I want to get to know him better”.
Don’t worry, New Jersey. Chainsaw Chicken is here. I’ll find out what these mysterious drones are up to.
I needed to get to my little secret. When I arrived at the plane hangers of our terminal at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. I went in the back and drug out the last flying example of the famous Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee flying platform.
I ‘found’ it back of the storage hanger in 1964 when Fairchild Aircraft bought out Heller. We purchased this hanger at an auction once the acquisitions was completed. We wanted the hanger in order to store our future projects.
I filled up the reserve with Hydrogen Peroxide that I robbed from Mrs. Chicken’s hair products. The second tank I attached to an old chemical fire extinguisher. Then I lit the match.
I ascended to about 600 feet and started cruising around. I bet it wasn’t 15 mins when I spotted the whole fleet. They were circling the 10th hole at Trump’s Betminster Golf Club.
I leaned my flying platform over and headed for the ...
