“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken.
Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly inquired back, also saying, “Why do you say that?”
Angrily, the President continued… “C’mon Man! You’re a dog faced pony soldier!” his finger now punctuating each syllable as he spoke adding, “I’d challenge you to a pushup contest if someone would help me up.”
The small George Soros creature known as Darth Chicken mumbled coaching phrases while standing almost off camera. “Tell him! Give it to him, Joe!”
Chainsaw raised his arm and pointed his hand to his chest. “Are you speaking about me, Mr. President?”
“I wish I could take you behind the gym and beat the hell out of you. I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life” Biden started sputtering seeming to lose his focus towards Chainsaw and refocusing on his own memories. “I was a truck driver before I was arrested for protesting against civil rights, I mean for… FOR civil rights. I would never stand for the way that you attack President Harris. Calling her “Camel La”. It’s Carmel, or is it Caramel… I like either one on my ice cream sundae… I sometimes just call her Butterscotch”… his hand finally beginning to lower, then suddenly raising up again. “We’ve been married now for years. I met her on my daily rides, One-way on the ol’ Amtrak on my way to the White House. She…. she was always there, taking my ticket, selling me a cup of noodles and a zagnut bar.” Biden’s speech began to slow and slur some. He began to actually wilt from behind the stand. “But Jill never would…(unintelligible words…. again and again) but she sure knew how…Hahahaha”.
The Soros creature, Darth Chicken, began to work some badly needed controls as Biden folded his hands and rested his chin on them.
Suddenly, assistant press secretaries emerged shouting “Okay, That’s all folks… There we go… Out the door… See you tomorrow… We’ll keep you informed.. Please disregard the last session… There was an audio problem… The president couldn’t understand the questions… Okay, out the door…”.
A White house staffer reached out to Chainsaw and told him that the President would like to have a private call with him later on today to ‘clear the air’. Please leave your number with Ms Psaki.”
Don’t worry, New Jersey. Chainsaw Chicken is here. I’ll find out what these mysterious drones are up to.
I needed to get to my little secret. When I arrived at the plane hangers of our terminal at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. I went in the back and drug out the last flying example of the famous Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee flying platform.
I ‘found’ it back of the storage hanger in 1964 when Fairchild Aircraft bought out Heller. We purchased this hanger at an auction once the acquisitions was completed. We wanted the hanger in order to store our future projects.
I filled up the reserve with Hydrogen Peroxide that I robbed from Mrs. Chicken’s hair products. The second tank I attached to an old chemical fire extinguisher. Then I lit the match.
I ascended to about 600 feet and started cruising around. I bet it wasn’t 15 mins when I spotted the whole fleet. They were circling the 10th hole at Trump’s Betminster Golf Club.
I leaned my flying platform over and headed for the ...
We had a Christmas party this year at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. Everyone had a great time. We had a White Elephant gift exchange. Every time someone exchanged a gift, we all had to take a drink. Soon, the room reeked of Egg Nog and Spiced Rum mixed with some Mountain Dew.
I have to agree, that I was into my cheer a little too much.
As my Porcelain addiction began to become obvious with my head deep into the bowl, I started thinking of all the names there are for what I was spewing into the toilet.
Sure, there’s vomiting.. and spewing as I said before…
Then there’s barfing, puking, regurgitating… Let me grab another slice of anchovy pizza as I think of more.
Ralphing, upchucking, spit up… damn that pizza goes down easy, I’ll grab another slice.
Mmmmmm… Let’s see, there’s blowing, hurling and heaving, and tossing one’s cookies and expelling.
Oh wow, one slice left… there’s retching and gagging too…
Oh boy, that last piece must of had a bad ...
After almost a year since its launch, I have been asking ChapGPT “Who is Chainsaw Chicken?”
It would answer with garbage about no information is available on anyone with that name, blah, blah, blah.
Suddenly, when I routinely asked it again, I was surprised to see this response.
“Yes, the content on Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken can be described as absurd due to its surreal humor and playful narrative style. The stories often combine unexpected elements and whimsical characters, creating a unique blend of comedy and satire. This approach invites readers to think critically about everyday concepts through a humorous lens.”
I guess I am honored. But ‘absurd’???
