Our web professionals here at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd have been diving deep into why so many can not enjoy our feature site. Well, after careful, rigorous examination of our meta data and statistical analysis, we have found that Google has purposely blocked, non-indexed or excluded over 90% of ChainsawChicken.com
“Non-sense”, expounded Chainsaw. “We’ve been on the web since 2005!”
When we use the required Google Search Console needed to view their own results, it is more than dramatic. Right before our eyes!
It seems that of the hundreds of pages on our site, only 97 of those pages are indexed. Indexing means that the words, titles, tags,… even the photos and their title are available or listed an any search someone might make. Non-indexing means that they simply don’t exist in the Google Universe, which they maintain is omniscient.
And because other search engines generally rely on Google results, we are not there as well. Not in Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Neeva, Gibiru and even Bing.
Yup! I must have hit a nerve or at least a tender spot and pissed off someone.
So we do what any reasonable, trusting, obedient site owner would do. We try to play the game. We requested that Google’s bots and robots review our request to be reindexed and be included in any search requests that it might appear. Mind you, we are limited to submitting only ten page links a day and they have to be done one at a time while being challenged repeatedly with validator squares requiring you to pick out the fire hydrants, traffic lights and so on. All very time consuming.
But, each time we made requests, even MORE pages were not indexed! Here is just the last few times, seen below.
Once we reviewed all the failures we tested each and every web page against Google’s own ‘tester’ to make sure that there wasn’t an error in coding. Low and behold… every single page tested approved and were resubmitted, again, at ten in a day.
Yet they are still shown as Discovered or Crawled yet not listed!
One of our senior tech programmers pointed out that we are premium members of the most qualified and trusted SEO provider available, called Yoast. They are based in Northern Europe. After a week of back and forth emails posing questions and answering issues, their final statement was…
"I performed some tests to verify that all was ok.
I performed a "site:https://chainsawchicken.com/" search, and we found that it is being indexed by Google: About 136 results (0.23 seconds).
I checked the site in the Mobile-Friendly Testand got a good result. If Google can run the mobile-friendly test for the domain, Google can also spider the domain.
Your sitemap is output as we expected.
All the Yoast Schema markups are shown as we expected (see the attached image).
We haven't found any Schema error inspecting your site with the Schema Validator tool.
Your site is eligible for rich results, as confirmed by the Rich Result Test tool here.
So, nothing prevents your site from being indexed and ranking well. I also had a look at some of the links and I do not see why the URLs are not indexed. "
Timing my be the issue. Let’s see… Hmmmmm…It appears that the vast majority of the “missing links” it appear to generally happen after February 2020. What happened then?
Covid? It was already going. So what else?… Let me think… “Look man! I’m not kidding!”
Mrs. Chicken dances for Halloween while the candy goes stale.
Halloween night arrived like a bad idea that wouldn’t stay buried.
The neighborhood was ready for candy — but Mrs. Chicken had other plans.
She’d spent all week sewing her “Golden Hen of Justice” outfit, complete with cape, belt, and a heroic disregard for local noise ordinances. So instead of handing out miniature sugar bombs to small pirates and sticky princesses, she decided to give them a show they wouldn’t forget.
(Watch the video below to see her strut her stuff.)
As the first group of kids waddled up the walk, they didn’t get candy — they got choreography.
Mrs. Chicken hit play on the Bluetooth speaker and launched into a routine somewhere between Batman Returns and Richard Simmons Escapes from Arkham.
Tiny pumpkins trembled. The inflatable skeleton next door looked concerned.
One kid dropped his phone trying to record it.
Chainsaw peeked through the blinds, muttering something about “this year’s ...
A companion to “The Man Behind the Mask“
The preceding review offers a perceptive analysis of the artistic core of Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken — its unwavering sincerity, deadpan visual language, layered satire, and long-term creative vision. But it leaves out the practical reality of keeping such a project alive in the current internet ecosystem.
That reality has a name: Google.
Beginning around February 2020, the site experienced a significant and sustained drop in search visibility. By 2023 the situation was documented plainly: over 90% of the archive — hundreds of pages built since 2005 — had been effectively de-indexed. Pages were still being crawled. They simply weren’t appearing in results, rendering two decades of work invisible to anyone who didn’t already know where to look.
The timing is worth noting. The sharpest deterioration coincided with the site publishing more pointed satirical pieces aimed at the Biden administration and Democratic politics. Nothing changed ...
Editor’s Note: I asked an AI to critically review Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken based on the written themes, structure, philosophy, and public materials of the site. The essay below is its independent response.
There is a particular kind of vertigo that comes from discovering something substantial that seems as though it should already be widely known. Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken, created by Oregon-based independent artist Rex Haragan, carries that feeling. It is a body of work developed over more than two decades and spanning hundreds of pieces of visual satire, built around a single surreal figure: a man who appears to wear a rubber chicken mask, yet believes with complete sincerity that this is simply his face.
The premise sounds like a one-note joke. It is not. What Haragan has built is a fully realized creative universe with its own internal logic, recurring philosophy, distinctive voice, and enduring point of view. It is independent in the truest sense—constructed without studio backing, publishing infrastructure, or institutional ...
I was informed by modern experts that my problem was not quality, originality, endurance, or surviving online longer than many of today’s “thought leaders” have been alive.
No.
My problem was E-E-A-T.
Experience. Expertise. Authoritativeness. Trustworthiness.
Amazing.
For years I believed experience meant actually doing something.
Apparently it now means having a headshot beside a paragraph that says you are passionate about helping others.
I believed expertise came from scars, failures, years of trial and error, and solving problems when nobody handed you a tutorial.
Apparently it now comes from saying “In today’s fast-paced world” before repeating what ten other websites already said.
I believed authoritativeness was earned slowly through consistency and results.
Apparently it can be rented monthly with lighting equipment, a microphone arm, and a blue backdrop.
And trustworthiness?
That one fascinated me most.
Because I watched unknown strangers become “trusted sources” in six weeks by speaking confidently into a camera ...
