Our web professionals here at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd have been diving deep into why so many can not enjoy our feature site. Well, after careful, rigorous examination of our meta data and statistical analysis, we have found that Google has purposely blocked, non-indexed or excluded over 90% of ChainsawChicken.com
“Non-sense”, expounded Chainsaw. “We’ve been on the web since 2005!”
When we use the required Google Search Console needed to view their own results, it is more than dramatic. Right before our eyes!
It seems that of the hundreds of pages on our site, only 97 of those pages are indexed. Indexing means that the words, titles, tags,… even the photos and their title are available or listed an any search someone might make. Non-indexing means that they simply don’t exist in the Google Universe, which they maintain is omniscient.
And because other search engines generally rely on Google results, we are not there as well. Not in Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Neeva, Gibiru and even Bing.
Yup! I must have hit a nerve or at least a tender spot and pissed off someone.
So we do what any reasonable, trusting, obedient site owner would do. We try to play the game. We requested that Google’s bots and robots review our request to be reindexed and be included in any search requests that it might appear. Mind you, we are limited to submitting only ten page links a day and they have to be done one at a time while being challenged repeatedly with validator squares requiring you to pick out the fire hydrants, traffic lights and so on. All very time consuming.
But, each time we made requests, even MORE pages were not indexed! Here is just the last few times, seen below.
Once we reviewed all the failures we tested each and every web page against Google’s own ‘tester’ to make sure that there wasn’t an error in coding. Low and behold… every single page tested approved and were resubmitted, again, at ten in a day.
Yet they are still shown as Discovered or Crawled yet not listed!
One of our senior tech programmers pointed out that we are premium members of the most qualified and trusted SEO provider available, called Yoast. They are based in Northern Europe. After a week of back and forth emails posing questions and answering issues, their final statement was…
"I performed some tests to verify that all was ok.
I performed a "site:https://chainsawchicken.com/" search, and we found that it is being indexed by Google: About 136 results (0.23 seconds).
I checked the site in the Mobile-Friendly Testand got a good result. If Google can run the mobile-friendly test for the domain, Google can also spider the domain.
Your sitemap is output as we expected.
All the Yoast Schema markups are shown as we expected (see the attached image).
We haven't found any Schema error inspecting your site with the Schema Validator tool.
Your site is eligible for rich results, as confirmed by the Rich Result Test tool here.
So, nothing prevents your site from being indexed and ranking well. I also had a look at some of the links and I do not see why the URLs are not indexed. "
Timing my be the issue. Let’s see… Hmmmmm…It appears that the vast majority of the “missing links” it appear to generally happen after February 2020. What happened then?
Covid? It was already going. So what else?… Let me think… “Look man! I’m not kidding!”
Don’t worry, New Jersey. Chainsaw Chicken is here. I’ll find out what these mysterious drones are up to.
I needed to get to my little secret. When I arrived at the plane hangers of our terminal at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. I went in the back and drug out the last flying example of the famous Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee flying platform.
I ‘found’ it back of the storage hanger in 1964 when Fairchild Aircraft bought out Heller. We purchased this hanger at an auction once the acquisitions was completed. We wanted the hanger in order to store our future projects.
I filled up the reserve with Hydrogen Peroxide that I robbed from Mrs. Chicken’s hair products. The second tank I attached to an old chemical fire extinguisher. Then I lit the match.
I ascended to about 600 feet and started cruising around. I bet it wasn’t 15 mins when I spotted the whole fleet. They were circling the 10th hole at Trump’s Betminster Golf Club.
I leaned my flying platform over and headed for the ...
We had a Christmas party this year at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. Everyone had a great time. We had a White Elephant gift exchange. Every time someone exchanged a gift, we all had to take a drink. Soon, the room reeked of Egg Nog and Spiced Rum mixed with some Mountain Dew.
I have to agree, that I was into my cheer a little too much.
As my Porcelain addiction began to become obvious with my head deep into the bowl, I started thinking of all the names there are for what I was spewing into the toilet.
Sure, there’s vomiting.. and spewing as I said before…
Then there’s barfing, puking, regurgitating… Let me grab another slice of anchovy pizza as I think of more.
Ralphing, upchucking, spit up… damn that pizza goes down easy, I’ll grab another slice.
Mmmmmm… Let’s see, there’s blowing, hurling and heaving, and tossing one’s cookies and expelling.
Oh wow, one slice left… there’s retching and gagging too…
Oh boy, that last piece must of had a bad ...
After almost a year since its launch, I have been asking ChapGPT “Who is Chainsaw Chicken?”
It would answer with garbage about no information is available on anyone with that name, blah, blah, blah.
Suddenly, when I routinely asked it again, I was surprised to see this response.
“Yes, the content on Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken can be described as absurd due to its surreal humor and playful narrative style. The stories often combine unexpected elements and whimsical characters, creating a unique blend of comedy and satire. This approach invites readers to think critically about everyday concepts through a humorous lens.”
I guess I am honored. But ‘absurd’???
