I got….The Call…
There I was, simply making a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch. Suddenly the phone rang.
I put down my wooden spoon and turned down the heat to bring my noodles to simmer for the perfect Al Dente . I reached over the counter and picked up the receiver.
“Hello?…” I stated.
There was a long pause and I could hear the caller fumbling with the phone.
“Is this… ahhhh… Is this…. ahhh, Mr. Chicken?” a familiar voice asked.
“Maybe…. Who’s asking?” I replied.
“Mr. Chicken…. ahhh… I am a fan of your website. I mean it man… I really do”, he continued. ” I have a few thoughts you can use on your site… from the Oval Office. No, I’m serious, not a joke, I’m not kidding, it’s a fact. You think I’m joking? Look… C’mon man!”
I knew for sure who it was now.
He went on, “…it’s like this. Is your refrigerator running? No,no, no… I meant to ask, Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh in the can?… ...
The internet has been all a buzz about Joe Biden getting pooped on by a bird when he spoke in Iowa. You probably saw it on the news.
When that happened, people all over started suggesting it was me, Chainsaw. That I was the one in the rafters.
It was not me…really!
Clearly that’s not me in the video.
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken.
Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly inquired back, also saying, “Why do you say that?”
Angrily, the President continued… “C’mon Man! You’re a dog faced pony soldier!” his finger now punctuating each syllable as he spoke adding, “I’d challenge you to a pushup contest if someone would help me up.”
The small George Soros creature known as Darth Chicken mumbled coaching phrases while standing almost off camera. “Tell him! Give it to him, Joe!”
Chainsaw raised his arm and pointed his hand to his chest. “Are you speaking about me, Mr. President?”
“I wish I could take you behind the gym and beat the hell out of you. I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms ...